Gone to the dogs

I've always been a lone wolf, but when I heard that the dog show was in town I was happy to follow the pack and go along. Of course, being Texas, this wasn't just a dog show but The Houston World Series Of Dog Shows. While I had a ruff idea of what might be involved I was paw-sitively shocked at the scale of it all.

The show takes place in the same space as the rodeo, and spends five days working through the multitude breed judging and obedience tests, while hundreds of stalls will sell you everything the dog or dog lover may require.

But - as I think I mentioned - this is Texas, so along with the normal there's also Six Step, where an owner and dog dance to country tunes, and Flyball, where a team of four dogs jump fences to retrieve balls as fast as possible. While business-suited breeders show their pedigree pups, tattooed and muscled men enter their mastiffs into cart pulling contests.

It was completely overwhelming, but we found serenity in the petting area where we tickled Welsh Pembroke Corgis under their chins. There were also some American Hairless Terriers, who don't shed but have problems with sunburn, and various things that had been crossed with Chihuahuas, like Cheagles, Pomchis, Chimations and Chiweenies (they're all real - look them up!)

And though I may complain that Pete is high-maintenance, after seeing the hair products, grooming equipment, doggy outfits, treat selections, etc. on display I can safely say that looking after something on two legs is far less taxing than one with four.

Flyball. A serious sport.

See? Teams even have their own logos!

Some obedience. OK, this is better than having a child.

Meeting the star of the ring.

Barn Hunt, where dogs have to find (real) rats.

Is this a bear show too?

13 of the various judging rings.

It's basically a rodeo for dogs, without the bit where they get kids to ride sheep.

Hmm, no thanks.

Specialist.

"This is degrading."

No artificial colours.

Even more grooming.

Doggy dance.

The finale - to The Lion King.

Pete meets some Chi-somethings.

And a boxer.

And one of those hairless ones.

Dogpower. Cuter than horsepower.

What the top dogs take home.

Juvenile care

The most annoying thing about being a parent is that sometimes you're expected to parent. This is actually mandated in the state of Texas by schools having THREE MONTHS off for the summer holidays. After burning through trips to Japan and California rather quickly, I was left viewing a vast expanse of wilderness that needed to be populated with action, lest a six-year-old go stir crazy. My only mental health was forfeit long ago.

If you want to fill vast amounts of time, baseball is always a good option. Pete is a member of the Astros' "Buddies Club" which gives us four free tickets to a game. Because of a clerical error they sent us eight, so I extended a branch to fellow parent Carolina who brought Pete's best friend Elena and various nephews and nieces along. We lasted until almost the fifth innings before boredom triumphed (the Astros went on to triumph themselves in the tenth).

I quickly exhausted our memberships to all our regular haunts, so had to dig a little deeper. Turns out the police and fire brigade both have free museums of their own! Although they're mostly dedicated to officers who died in the line of duty, which led to some interesting conversations with Pete. We went to reclaim our balance at El Gato Coffeehouse, whose unique selling point is that rescued cats wander among the patrons. All cats are available for adoption, which was a tactical blunder when Pete fell in love with Juno. Yes, I was the father dragging his crying child away from the cat adoption centre, but at least we remain pet free.

Some desperate googling led me to discover that Apple Stores run free classes for kids. By "free" I mean they get to advertise to small children for an hour or two and then set them loose to pester their parents. Not having learned my lesson from the cat episode, we went along with Elena and her Dad to a session about programming a small robot to roll around a maze. Pete and Elena, the youngest there, were commended on how well they did, although some competitive parents may have been involved with the iPads.

Scratching around for the next cost-less entertainment, it occurred to me that volunteering never costs anything! And Houston Food Bank is always looking for volunteers! Hence I got four free hours of childcare and all I had to do was take packets out of one box, wipe them, and place them in another. Our crew managed to pack a whopping 9000lbs of food onto pallets in the time, and I filled my pockets with enough for dinner! Bonus.

After all that hard work it was time for a reward: frozen yoghurt and a trip to a bowling alley. Pete's new thing is to loudly tell everyone he's not British, he's American, and his love of bowling and baseball backs this up. I remain totally English myself, in that a six-week school holiday might be the reason I move back before next summer.

Feeling relaxed?

Astros' new signings.

 The police museum!

The fire museum!

The cat cafe!

Me, viciously attacked by a wild animal.

Not allergic to cats then.

Advertising doesn't work. But now I desperately want a $150 robot ball (and a $500 iPad).

The tutor is impressed by our "teamwork".

 

I was surprised when the food bank put Pete on forklift duty.

Hunting for the goodies.

If only he were as helpful at home.

Reward.

Excellent form, and...

...strike! Well, almost.