In Bruges

What a waste it would be to spend our time in Brussels sitting around, eating chocolates and frites while drinking beer. Actually that sounds rather good, but we decided to get up and take in a little more of this historic country. There's a lot of history about, much of it connected by railways, so like cut-price Interailing students we packed a rucksack each and jumped on a train to Bruges!

Bruges is small in stature but large in significance, having been one of the richest and most active trading centres in Europe for several centuries. It's full of old - like, properly old - buildings surrounded by canals, via which everything was brought in and traded. Its significance dropped in the 18th Century as Antwerp grew in size, but now it's one of the country's top tourist destinations.

We started at Historium, a museum that takes you through Bruges's golden age including a nifty virtual reality medieval boat ride around the city (which allowed Pete to complain "It was better in VR" for the rest of the day). The museum is divided into little interactive scenes, where you watch an ongoing movie of a boy chasing a girl and a parrot (?) through markets, shops, and churches. There's even a stop in a steamy bathhouse that I thought might just leave things to the imagination but nope! Full frontal nudity. Welcome to Europe.

The next day we wandered through the daffodils in the 'Princely Beguinage Ten Wijngaarde' where emancipated lay-women led a pious and celibate life. Just like Hannah. We then took a boat ride, sailing under low bridges we'd previously sauntered over. The whole place is a labyrinth of walkways and waterways, and this is one of the cities that rightfully claims the "Venice of the North" label.

Then it was a return train to Brussels, where we congratulated ourselves on a European mini-jaunt with only what we carried on our backs. We're young again! Now we just have to pick our next historic Belgian destination. Until then: beer and chocolates.

It's the historic...thing. Everything's historic around here.

Quick, it's been two hours since we were last in a chocolate shop!

Young master.

And his masterpiece.

Light lunch.

Looking down at the "markt".

A traditional Bruges massive plate of meat with mayonnaise.

Night falls over the canals.

On guard at the convent.

Piety, celibacy, daffodils. All symbols of Wales.

A short boat ride, definitely better than in VR.

Bye-bye Bruges!

Scandinavian diet

Living in Houston, where you can drive half-way to Los Angeles and still be in Texas, has given me a new appreciation of how close everything in Europe is, and how we never took advantage when we actually - you know - spent 30 years growing up here. The English Channel is more of a psychological barrier than a watery one, so now that we're back we need to take advantage.

Hence: we left our quick Garmisch trip for Copenhagen, the Danish capital, far in the frozen wastes of northern Europe (that is, 42 miles higher in latitude than Newcastle). The answer to: "Which country has the best [insert quality of life measurement here]?" is usually one of the Scandinavian ones, and my expectations were not disappointed. Also, Covid does not exist in Denmark! Removing masks felt very strange, like going out without underwear. As I do that all the time I quickly got used to it.

For casually strolling around, this city is incredible, and on our first day we wandered along the water's edge, waving at Sweden, until we got to The Little Mermaid, then came back through the famous star-shaped 17th Century citadel before pausing at a coffee shop for...well, a Danish pastry. Our hotel room was straight out of the Ikea "look what you can do with 42 square metres!" showroom, next to the wooden-roofed train station which disconcertingly housed many American shops including Dunkin' Donuts.

Outside of the city we visited Kronborg Castle, which Shakespeare made famous in his play about star-crossed lovers and witches or whatever. And then there were the Vikings! The Danish National Museum has an incredible new hall dedicated to them, with a lot about their little boat trips over to Lindisfarne. Surprisingly, tons of Vikings settled around there, and it's said that many in the North East of England can still communicate quite easily with their Nordic cousins. It's true - Danish and Geordie are equally incomprehensible to me.

Also difficult to understand is quite how expensive everything is. There seems to be a set price for a meal. Pizza and wine? €100. Burgers and beer? €100. Coffee and Danish? €100 (slight exaggeration). I decided it was better for my mental and economic health just to stop converting from Danish kroner. And any efforts to speak Danish by phonetically reading from Google Translate on my phone were met with responses in perfect English, so I stopped that as well. Maybe I should have tried my Geordie accent.

Then it was back down to Brussels as Pete's week of school holiday drew to a close. The airport was packed, but thankfully a family lane marked by LEGO men meant we could bypass the queues and catch our flight. Goodbye Denmark! Your quality of life was indeed spectacular, and I'll be back as soon as my credit card recovers.

Hannah, choosing the site of our next raid.

Very picturesque.

Uncanny.

Pete tries to fire on Sweden.

There she is! Probably feeling chilly.

Mmmm €€€€

At the Copenhagen Experimentarium.

An Ingmar Bergman film.

Playing a laser harp, just like Jean Michel Jarre!

This is as close to skiing as I'm willing to get.

One's enough!

Don't burst his bubble.

To be or...something.

Their crimes? Numerous.

Like an oil painting.

Imagine the heating bill!

Out on the ramparts, Sweden in the background.

Hannah defending the castle at the Danish National Museum.

Thor's hammer! I thought it would be larger.

I'm not sure what we were doing in this one.

Or here.

Pete with some runes. These stones were put up to commemorate Viking raids. There were a lot.

They sell models of Hannah in the museum shop.

In the Rundetaarn, a round tower with a slope instead of stairs! Very famous for astronomy, and still in use by stargazers today.

Up at the top.

And going back down.

And the real reason for coming all this way? To visit the home of LEGO, of course! Resisting the urge to purchase all the sets I never could as a child was difficult. Then I remembered how much lunch just cost.

Winter Olympics

Ever since we met the Muckers in California in 2008, the universe has conspired to throw us together. They're extremely happy about this, especially when the army moved them to Garmisch in Germany just before we made our way to Brussels. With Pete's school giving him a week off to celebrate the beginning of Lent (?) we made a quick trip over the border.

Garmisch-Partenkirchen is in Bavaria ("the Texas of Germany"), and was originally two towns before Hitler decided they should be one for the 1936 Winter Olympics. They're still complaining about this, but the beautiful buildings nestled under the snowy peaks means that no one's too upset. The nearest city is Munich, where we arrived and went straight to beer hall, complete with giant tankards and a brass band. After that it was down the Autobahn at ridiculous speed - "The car has a limiter," Vince complained, as his sensible family vehicle topped out at 183km/h.

The big thing around here is skiing. I've never understood it myself, getting dragged up a mountain only to slide down it. Why not just stay at the bottom and save time and money? Christine understood, and so organised some apres-ski without the ski, where the adults stood on the slopes with beers and cocktails watching the kids sledge.

Instead of Pancake Day (the civilised way to celebrate Shrove Tuesday) the Germans have "carnivale" which involves drinking beer, as usual, but this time wearing funny costumes. I've been burnt before, by Christine's 80s-themed New Year bowling night...where we were the only people in the bowling alley 80s-themed. But no, everyone in town was dressed up, including some very strange bodiless dancers and mask-wearing accordion players. When in Garmisch!

All too soon our quick trip was over, but not without a visit to the local thermal baths, the largest in the world! This is definitely an impressive place, where you can buy cocktails from the swim-up bar and float around drinking them, then send the kids off to ride water slides while you soak in the hot pools. There's even a clothing optional area, but you have to pay extra for that. As I can literally take my clothes off for free whenever I want, I skipped that part.

Thank you Muckers for a wonderful trip, with many more to come. Because you can never escape.

The old band back together.

Some are taller than others now.

A famous clock in Munich. We waited a long time in a crowd to watch it chime. It was underwhelming.

Pretzels, much better!

Hannah on her third litre of the morning, "Just to take the edge off."

My California baby. What happened?

This is what skiing is all about (ie no skiing).

But some sledging.

JJ, always ready to race.

Claire, one and done.

"Dress up for the evening!" said Christine. "People will love it!!" No one noticed.

Mainly because there were people who looked like this around.

Pete's kid's meal: pork, with a lollipop stuck in it.

Not at all alarming.

Garmish-Partenkirchen. Yeah, nice.