Punch it, Chewie!

While the stated reason for going to Florida was to scuba dive, the real reason is obvious: to meet Disney princesses.

Sadly, the court order banning me from coming within 50 feet of a Disney princess is in place until 2028, but it doesn't say anything about meeting other characters! And so I fulfilled a lifetime's ambition by shaking hands with someone I've always modelled my character, career, and body hair on: Chewbacca.

But this wasn't only about wookies. We drove up to Orlando and spent two days in Uncle Walt's theme park, first in the "traditional" Magic Kingdom, where American values like family and merchandise are celebrated, then in Hollywood Studios, mostly in their Galaxy's Edge Star Wars bit.

It was hot, it was humid, it was wonderful. It's just all so easy. Every member of staff greets you with a smile, and a "hello, friend", and while I know it's all fake, and I'm basically paying them to be nice to me, after another northern European winter I really don't care. This made me feel quite guilty, but when a big hairy wookie wraps his arms around you, nothing else matters.

From left to right: Walt, me, Mickey, Pete.

Off for adventure!

It's A Small World. This is as exciting as I like my Disney rides to be.

Taken with zoom lens, so technically more than 50ft away.

Magic carpet ride.

In the Hall Of Presidents. Some of the animatronics were more energetic than the real things.

I was always told that theology was a Mickey Mouse degree.

Oooh! Aaaah!

Planning our next run at the Death Star.

The family that flies together, stays together.

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Open the pod bay doors, Hal (maybe that's something else).

There were other bits of the park but ... whatever.

Belly rubs for BB-8.

A quick drink in the cantina. They accept American dollars.

In the droid factory.

The man, the myth, the legend! And a wookie.

So we lived beneath the waves

What does scuba stand for? Self contained underwater breathing apparatus. What does tuba stand for? Terrible underwater breathing apparatus.

Long ago, when Covid stalked the earth and all schooling was done from home, Pete's teacher tended to absolve himself of responsibility by giving the kids open access to the National Geographic channel every afternoon. There, Pete saw a mini-documentary about an underwater hotel that you had to dive to, and where another diver would deliver you pizza. Unsurprisingly, the food element stuck in his head, and ever since diving has been his activity of choice.

You need to be 10 years' old to dive anywhere other than a pool and achieve your "open water" certificate, but through Cub Scouts we found Gigglin' Marlin in Houston that ran pool-based "Seal Team" sessions for the younger diver. Well, Pete is now 10, and we hopped from Texas to the slightly cooler beachfront of Florida where Horizon Divers was ready to give him the full, ocean-going, fish-encountering experience.

Personally I'm not a fan of the sea. Or sand. Or the sun. But I'd read a book that says you have to support your children in whatever is their passion or - I don't know - they might grow up tough and strong like their Generation X parents!! So Hannah and I pulled on ridiculously heavy tanks, learned safety acronyms, slathered ourselves with waterproof sun cream, and spent a whole day in a Key Largo pool trying to keep up with our son. This included treading water for ten minutes without stopping, which maybe I had to do once to get a swimming badge. I'm not as young as I was.

After that it was away onto the ocean. I'd picked up a sinus infection, probably from swimming around a pool that filthy Floridians pee in, so I was only allowed to splash around with a snorkel while Pete and Hannah sank 30ft under the waves. The dive sites were all on the beautiful coral reefs that surround the Keys but, like everything else, they're getting devastated by pollution and warming oceans. One of the boat crew was an ecologist who's working to transplant new coral and try to get things back to 20% coverage. At the moment it's 1-2% of what it was in the 1970s.

Thankfully there's a huge amount of sea life, although an algae bloom (another effect of ocean warming) left us swimming through a green soup. Still, we saw barracuda, turtles, blue parrotfish, damselfish, spiny lobsters...someone in another group spotted a hammerhead shark but it didn't paddle over to where we were.

After two days and four dives, Pete was a fully-trained PADI open water certificated diver! The undersea lodge is a little on the pricey side, so for now something that allows shallower dives into both the ocean and our pockets is more likely our next watery adventure. Like maybe...snorkeling in the bath.

The family that drowns together...

Hannah, floating like an angel(fish).

Good students.

All suited up and ready to go!

One giant leap.

And he's under!

Turtle!

Some pretty damselfish.

And a pretty Hannah fish.

A big "OK" from trainer Christina for Pete's amazing achievement.

Home is where the heat is

Although, thanks to a green card, we're now allowed to stay in the USA as long as we want - and are therefore no longer technically nonimmigrant - we can't stay away as long as we want. If we're judged to have "abandoned" the place, they'll eject us. Just like cricket, if you take too long to arrive at the crease when it's your turn to bat, you're out! This means we have to return every so often, to remind America how pleased it is to see us.

Personally, we're very pleased to see all our friends back in Houston, and Pete wasted no time in racing to meet Levi, Lexi, Kimo, Elena...Tilman the dog, Fifo the cat... We had a nosy at our house, and the renters are keeping the garden much tidier than we did, so they can stay. We also visited some old haunts (that is, thrift shops) and ate a lot of very-bad-for-you, very processed food.

All this happened in some of the worst weather Houston has ever had. You may have read about the "heat dome" covering much of the southern US, and while Arizona is ground zero it is plenty hot enough here in Texas too. Incredibly the power grid hasn't fried, thanks to lots of additional solar and wind, but I'm not sure how long air conditioning can keep things habitable if this is the coolest summer for the next 100 years.

But we lapped it up, recharging our solar batteries for the next northern European winter. The USA often looks bad from the outside, but when you're there it's pretty lovely, especially enjoying time again with far-off friends. Or maybe that's just the Twinkies talking.

Back in H-town.

A better way to keep cool.

The newest addition: next door's puppy.

Pete and Elena, still psychically linked by independently choosing the same clothes.

When in Houston...

Texas wildlife.

Hannah enjoys the "tower of power" at Gyu Kaku, where we traditionally celebrate the first day of school with the Lefevres by drinking astonishing amounts.

Down at Voodoo Donuts...

... LOTS of Voodoo Donuts.

And Philio the cat, who owns the neighborhood, because some things never change.