Catch it before you can cook it

For some time, Tokyo has been the city that boasts the most Michelin Stars awarded to its restaurants. It's easy to see why; mixing traditional and cutting edge cuisine, the choice of food here is amazing. Walk into any nondescript eatery at random and you'll be blown away by the flavours and presentation, works of art on a plate.

Which is why we chose to eat lunch at the Pokemon Cafe.

To be fair, it may have been harder to get a table here than at many of the more celebrated venues. I had to sit online a month in advance, constantly refreshing until the day became available and I could pounce on the timeslot we wanted before it disappeared in a blink. As a result, three adults and four kids sat down to a feast of overpriced but not awful dishes shaped into the vague forms of fantasy creatures.

You only get to stay at the cafe for 90 minutes, and everyone has to order food for that privilege, but the highlight is undoubtedly when a "special guest" arrives midway through. And what do you know? Our guest was Chef Pikachu himself! Take a bunch of already hyper children, add a five foot Pikachu into the mix, see what happens. You can imagine.

We were informed in advance that we were not allowed to pose with Pikachu and could only shake him by the hand. This didn't stop Pete hugging his idol multiple times, but he also got a big public thank you from Pikachu's "minder" for bringing a picture he'd made (no joke) about six months ago when he first heard we were coming to Japan and kept for this very occasion. Many young children's minds were blown this day.

The cafe is in Tokyo's "Pokemon Centre" which is no more or less than a huge shop selling every type of Pokemon, and every type of thing on which a Pokemon can be printed. We spent a dyspeptic amount of money here too, and I waited for the credit card company to ring to check this wasn't fraudulent. They didn't, and I suspect they were too merciful to grill us with questions about how many fluffy imaginary monsters we'd purchased.

Thus everything Japan has to offer has been completed within the first few days, at least in the mind of a young boy I know. As for enjoying Michelin-starred food, we'll have to wait for Pete to grow up and leave home before we can achieve that dream...at a time when a pic of him hugging a giant Pikachu might be more embarrassing than it is now.

Some monsters are real.

And have a big building to house them.

How many do you need, Charlie?

 The wedding I always dreamed of.

Consulting the interactive Pokedex. Don't ask me what that means.

My face when I saw the prices.

Lining up for lunch.

Do you know how hard it was to get this table children?!

Teaching Pete about healthy eating and responsible budgeting.

OK, more like it!

Can you eat Pokemon?

Obviously yes.

The chef checks his customers are happy.

Mob rule.

Pikachu and Pete's pic.

Reviews ranged from the ecstatic...to Hannah.

日本での初日

Our too brief stay in Canada came to an end, but Japan was calling so what could we do? Our 'All Nippon Airways' flight had ample leg room but the stewardess gave a quizzical look when we asked for gin and tonics, and had to scurry to the galley to make them. That wouldn't happen on British Airways.

Four G&Ts later we were in Tokyo and threw ourselves upon the mercy of the transport system. It proved to be just as I imagined: clean, perfectly on time, and packed like sardines. Perhaps due to the in-flight drinking we managed to catch a train that stopped at all 44 stations between the airport and our destination of Yokosuka. But we swapped to a 'Limited Express' at the earliest opportunity and were soon met by Amanda.

She and Jack are stationed at the US navy base in Yokosuka, but that's coming to an end in July when they've been called back to the homeland. So we decided to take advantage of their hospitality while it lasted. After presenting our passports at the main base gate (being British we're immediately trusted and allowed everywhere) we were driven through what is essentially a small American city transplanted onto Tokyo Bay. McDonalds, Popeye's Chicken, Starbucks...all elements of 'civilization' are here.

Japan is several hours behind Houston time, but it's also in tomorrow! This madness translated into a 4am wake up by our darling 6-yr-old, but after a bleary breakfast it meant we were out nice and early and quickly relaxing in a local onsen.

Onsens are bathhouses, found all over Japan, fed by natural hot springs. Most of them are gender segregated, so Amanda and Hannah headed left while I got to take Pete to the right with me. There's a lot of scrubbing and cleaning yourself before you're even allowed into the water, where you get your choice of hot or cold, murky, slightly less murky, and filtered, as well as walking around an outside garden in your birthday suit, with hot rock slabs with water trickling over them that you lie on. They were the best, and Pete loved it all. I loved it too, mostly because I'd dishonestly convinced him that you have to be silent in the baths.

After that it was a ramen lunch and then a trip to a Japanese 7-11; a far more imaginative version of their American counterpart. I stocked up on snacks that I had no idea about, and was soon chomping on a giant hollow Whatsit, some cheese-filled scampi fries, and washing this down with a kind of Sprite/milk hybrid. Delicious, and it gave me energy for a trip to a bike park with fake roads, traffic lights, and one-way signs, where grumpy old men shout at children in an attempt to teach them how to ride properly. Very similar to me taking Pete and Levi to school every morning.

And this is just day one! I can't say we've found the 'real' Japan yet, but we've certainly found the real tourist Japan - a theme that will continue tomorrow with our lunch at the exclusive Pokemon Cafe...

Glad to be here!

At the onsen. Shortly after, we were naked.

Re-hydrating with a pineapple milk.

Having the ramen restaurant explained.

Fabulous food arrived so we must have done something right.

Pete and Charlie, following a theme.

It's still junk food, but it's Japanese junk food!

Fizzy milk. Certainly tasted like Calpis.

 

Learning to ride. Thankfully Japan, unlike America, drives on the correct side of the road.

Look at this lot. This is meant to be a holiday!

From out of Texas

I can see why someone may want to leave Houston for a while. There are, after all, several other places in Texas worth seeing. But departing this great state completely? Well, that's just crazy talk.

Nevertheless, we decided to head into the big scary world by taking a flight to Seattle, and from there a bus to Vancouver. Our ultimate destination is Japan, and after several hours of Internet searches I determined that this is the cheapest route. You know how much I like cheap.

Thankfully we also have many friends in those two great cities, so started off by popping in on the Pellegs only to find they'd flown to Ireland three days before. But they were kind enough to lend us their house, so we walked the city taking in the highlights. I'd forgotten what fog and clouds looked like, and also that nowhere is as flat as east Texas; Seattle has hills inside it! But the exercise allowed us to work off all the coffees and pastries we couldn't resist.

Then it was onto a bus to ride north of the border. The clouds gave way to blue skies within 20 minutes of the Seattle city limits, and immigration was very pleasant, as you'd expect from a country that shares our Queen. We were soon in a bar with Jane enjoying fabulous local beers while ice hockey played on the TVs.

Sunday was spent on a visit to our old stomping ground of Christ Church Cathedral, followed by a picnic in the sunshine. The picnic field was conveniently close to an outside bar, so the kids sat on a blanket while the adults chatted and sampled some more of the local liquid produce.

It's been a fabulous start to the holidays, and a reminder of the entirely different vibe that the Pacific Northwest has to...pretty much anywhere else in North America. People talk about climate change here! And recycling! I don't want to prejudge what Mr Trump is going to say to the Queen during his visit this week, but I'm not sure those will be top of the agenda.

Tray tables in their upright position etc.

A hill! No wonder everyone here is so fit.

Seattle breakfast.

Who's that trip-trapping over my bridge?

Theo Chocolate Factory, with unlimited free samples!

Tourists.

Meeting up with Florin...and a large friend.

Basketball with Agam.

Schooling Arbel.

Some Junior Catan. Almost as competitive as their parents.

The emotional sight of Vancouver again.

Canada Place.

Float planes, Stanley Park, and a wistful look.

Dinner and drinks with Jane.

Catching the water taxi home.

The rain rains on the just and the unjust

"Weather snobbery" is certainly one of my favourite things. When a light dusting of snow brings all of Britain to a halt, our Scandinavian brothers and sisters have a good laugh. Equally, when a few raindrops cause Houstonians to get flustered and call off planned events, I like to point out that if we cancelled things for rain in Britain then everything would be cancelled forever.

Then today it happened! It rained, so they closed Pete's school!!

To be fair, there were some "extreme thunderstorm" warnings the evening before; my phone beeped scarily, and then started talking to me to let me know how serious things were. Just east of the city there were reports of hailstones the size of baseballs, and flash floods closing roads. I went to sleep as lightning flashed.

When I awoke, the school district had texted at 4am to say all schools were shut. I opened the blinds expecting to witness the apocalypse, only to find conditions I would generously describe as slightly damp. There wasn't drizzle, or even mizzle, or any of the other 99 words the British have for precipitation.

At first I was excited. Finally a chance to home-school Pete! They teach strange things around here, like "evolution" and the so-called "American War of Independence" and I looked forward to a day of Bible study and lineages of British monarchs. But, on reflection, it seemed easier to take him and his friend Levi to watch Detective Pikachu at the cinema then have Whataburger for lunch. After that, I'm not proud to say I put another movie on for Pete and went for a nap. I did skip my lunchtime cocktail though. Responsible parenting.

Mid-afternoon the sun came out, with not another drop of rain all school-deficient day. The thunderstorm had cleared the air and it was one of the most pleasant days we've had for a while. I thought of all the teachers enjoying a glass of wine on this unexpected long weekend...and then realised what this was really all about. After spending the day with my six-year-old, I can agree they deserve it.

Waiting for Detective Pikachu, which was not as bad as it could have been.

Healthy Dad-lunch.

In tents relationship

According to Hannah, it was time to go camping again. That's twice this month. And while I love smelling of smoke and mud while giving blood transfusions to 10,000 mosquitoes, I did my time under canvas as a Boy Scout.

I communicated my reticence by smiling and dutifully packing the car up. I know who's in charge around here. Off we went to Cagle Recreation Area, in Sam Houston Forest.

It wasn't as bad as all that, because our planned two nights had to be reduced to one due to "dangerous thunderstorms" in the area. Much as I love to tell Americans how weak they are whenever things are cancelled for rain, camping in a forest during a thunderstorm did not seem the sensible way to assert British dominance. So we arrived on a beautiful sunny Saturday morning and only had to wait until the evening for the ground to dry out to pitch the tent.

We were camping with Pete's best friend from school, Elena, together with her Dad J.P. and cousin Laura. Elena and Laura are Chilean, and J.P. works as a translator, so Hannah and I spent the weekend speaking Spanish, mainly by saying English words in a Spanish accent the way Brits have been doing on the Costa Del Sol since the 70's. Our friends found this consistently hilarious and I know will be asking to camp with us again soon.

Pete and Elena have already decided they're going to get married, although given they're six-years-old and we don't live in Alabama, this isn't likely to happen soon. Their full-on excitement and gleeful craziness whenever they're together is very endearing...for about five minutes. I had flashbacks to when Hannah and I met at uni, and would like to apologise belatedly to all our friends there.

But the weekend was a huge success, and we once again survived in the harsh and unforgiving environment of a Texan campsite (the hot showers only stayed on for five minutes before you had to push the button again! Shocking). Thankfully we're now into summer, which means even Hannah demurs from nights in a tent, waking up glued to your sleeping mat with your own evapourated sweat. Maybe it's time to buy a caravan.

I don't think this tree came down the night before we arrived, but I'm pleased we avoided the possibility.

Oh look, some more incredibly dangerous reasons to camp in Texas!

Pete and Elena, star-crossed by a shared love of Pokemon.

There's only one way to toast a marshmallow!

Have bourgeois liberal arts parents, get bourgeois liberal arts children.

Cooling off in the lake.

 End of camp selfie, and amazingly we don't look too filthy!

Cute. In small doses.

Crisis of conscience

"But David," people ask me.  "How do you deal with the crushing guilt of being a stay-at-home Dad and a kept man?"

"Well," I tell them, pausing my computer game and taking a sip of my mid-morning cocktail, "it's tough."

Unfortunately, now and again I feel a sting of something I've come to recognise as 'conscience' and wonder if maybe I should be giving back to society, or whatever.  Equally unfortunately, Pete's school offers infinite opportunities to volunteer, which is why I found myself there several times this week.

One of the biggest puzzles of US society is its utterly clichéed me-first individualism, while at the same time Americans gave a whopping $400 billion to charity in 2017, putting them at the top of the World Giving Index.  Pay taxes to look after everyone with equal healthcare and education?  Oh no.  Make up the shortfall directly out of your own pocket?  This they like.

All of this is why Pete's (and every other) public school runs on volunteers and fundraising, and why I receive nods from other parents at pick-up time who have also chaperoned multiple trips, packed up classrooms at the end of term, or helped the school nurse administer flu shots.  We're a loose collective, recognisable by our pre-printed visitor badges and emotional scars.

My first volunteering this week didn't really count, as it was to see Pete read a poem in front of the school.  This was the annual poetry and prose competition, although (very strangely for America) no one was declared the winner.  Pete seemed to consider being picked from his class to stand in front of the school to be the prize, and recited "Say Hello To Pikachu" with aplomb.  So young, and already surpassing all literary achievements of his father.

Two days later I was back again for the school grand opening.  The school has been open since January but now it was "grand", and various elected officials were here, including a representative of the lovely popular Texas Senator Ted Cruz, as was the school's oldest alumnus who started Kindergarten in 1929.  Lets hope she graduates soon.  The children sang, the principal cried, and we had to say the Pledge of Allegiance before the ribbon was cut.

Finally, Friday was the day of the school fun run, where they were hoping to raise $16,000 to keep the lights on a little longer.  It was a slick affair, organised by a outside marketing company who (reportedly) took a 40% cut of donations.  Hey - it's charity, but this is still the land of free market economics!  We also had to sing the US National Anthem beforehand.  Before a school fun run!  Unfortunately I'd misread the information and believed Pete would run 16 laps, when in fact he did 35, which means I'm on the hook for quite a large sum of money.

Coming up in the next few days it's the Kindergarten 'sock hop' dance, followed by a field trip to the Museum of Natural Science.  It's going to be a busy week for me once again, which is a shame as there are some particularly tricky levels on my current game that require my undivided attention...

Pete wows the crowd with his poem (authors: P & D Davies).

Neighbour and cycling-mate Levi recites his poem in Spanish.

Nara, a fellow Cub Scout and school friend of Pete, gets into character with his pizza poem.

Angels at the grand opening.

Dance beforehand from some embarrassed eighth graders.


 
Top performers.

Ribbon cut!  Much rejoicing.

Lining up for the fun run in the sun.  Fun for whom?

"Baby Shark" for the warm-up.

Pete and Elena sing the anthem.  Elena is Chilean, Pete is British, but whatever.

Runners and riders.

Every mark on that T-shirt is another $20 I owe!  Time to ask my wife for an extension to my credit.