What better way to lure the casinos into a false sense of security than to pretend to know
nothing about gambling, and so attend their free lessons. This we did, getting schooled first in roulette (easy), then blackjack (a bit harder, but there are rules about what to do) and finally craps (insanely complicated).
We seated ourselves at the roulette wheel and waited for the teacher to arrive. There we fell into conversation with another British person who claimed to be a member of Mensa who had won an infallible roulette system in a game of poker. You can decide what this tells you about his true IQ level.
Karen was our tutor for the day, and took us through the myriad betting possibilities of the roulette table. You can basically bet on odds between 35 to one down to even money, but they put the pretty numbers and colours there to make it seem more exciting. By the time we finished we were ready to drop chips on the basket, the top line, or simply play the double-straights. Yes, we were gamblers.
Blackjack was a little more complicated but the Excalibur allows you to buy a
basic strategy card which tells you what to do, and have it in front of you while you play. This game lacked the
cache of roulette, but was far better than craps which seemed to consist of rolling dice and shouting a lot. After almost two hours of instruction we decided to move into the big league and actually gamble some money.
We took the bus to Downtown, the older area of Las Vegas, because the minimum you could gamble was a lot lower here. Start small was our mantra. At the
Golden Nugget I joined the "24 Carat Club", gambled away the free $10 they give you for the slots and even managed to nab a gin & tonic
comp. We then settled down at the $5 roulette wheel.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" were the first words of the croupier. We could tell that he was nervous, and rightly so. A crisp $50 bill was placed on the beize, converted into $1 chips and the game began.
High-stakes gambling can be an invigorating experience where thousands are won or lost on the throw of dice, the turn of a card or the spin of a wheel. Low stakes gambling, on the other hand, is like the long, slow death of an unhealthy and unpopular pet that was probably on the way out anyway. It would be more merciful to put it out of its misery.
After an hour and a quarter of Dad placing the minimum bets, losing $5, winning $6, losing another $5...I was waiting for the management to ask us to leave. Not because we were breaking the house, but because we were taking up the valuable time of their employees who could be doing something more useful like watering the plants. Finally Dad was down to his last chip and decided to go wild and place it all on number 15. "That's my birthday, it'll never come up," said the croupier. But it did, and having been ready to walk out I had to sit myself back down.
Dad decided to quit while he was not-too-much-behind and cashed up. $14 for an afternoon's entertainment was pretty good, and we had enjoyed several G&Ts. Las Vegas will be praying that we don't come back, but not exactly for the reason's we'd hoped.
Dad wrestles a one-armed-bandit...
...and comes out $11 better off.
Karen explains the ins and outs of roulette (in summary: you're going to lose).
The action at the table heats up.
We then graduate to blackjack.
Card counting at its most blatant. "One...two...what number did I start on again?"
We move the action the the Golden Nugget, where Dad proudly displays our "free" gin and tonic (graciously provided after we lose another $10).
Amazing but true: after a month-and-a-half of no precipitation, I have to come to the desert of Nevada to feel the rain. Bliss! Suddenly the whole place feels just like England.
