Nonimmigrant: Underground, overground

Hannah recently found out she has a lot of hotel points from all the times she traveled to the northern wastes of Canada looking for oil. Hotel points sound great - every time you stay at a hotel they give you points so you can stay at a hotel again! For free! And who doesn't like staying at hotels, apart from people who have to stay at hotels for work, like Hannah.

Luckily her points could be spent in a range of places, including some quite close by, which is good as spending thousands of dollars to fly to the north of Canada so we could stay at a hotel for free didn't sound like the best economics, even to a card-carrying bargain hunter like myself.

So we went to a nice place in the Shenandoah Valley, an hour west of DC. It's a shockingly rural part of the world; drive an hour from the centre of London and you're still in London, but out here it's rolling meadows and wooded mountains (albeit smaller-than-Canadian ones).

As we were celebrating oil-related perks we decided to venture underground. This is where oil comes from, Hannah tells me, although I haven't looked into the details myself. Luckily for Shenandoah my wife wasn't out here prospecting (or was she?) so we took a more touristy route down, into Shenandoah Caverns, which extend for a mile some 250ft below the surface. There are lots of caves in the area but these are the only ones that you can take an elevator down to. We're so American now.

We wandered the breathtaking stygian depths looking at the hundreds of diverse and various rock formations, including some that our guide Tasha told us had formed over 50 million years, which is odd given that the Earth is only 6000 years old. There are lots of signs threatening grievous consequences from the state of Virginia if you touch or break any formations, but seeing that the whole place has an immaculately flat, graveled floor for ease of tourist access I have a feeling that such laws weren't in place when the caverns were opened. Given the choice, I'd rather be a stalactite than a stalagmite.

The whole subterrestrial smorgasbord is magical and, as this is an American roadside destination, above-ground is equally surreal. The man who owns the caverns is the person who organises the Presidential inauguration parades (of course!) and so, next to his caves, there's an aircraft hangar full of floats, trains, giant cars, etc. He also dressed shop windows, so there's that too. And then across the road are some goats and his tractor collection in a huge barn.

Well, after all that we decided to commune with nature to calm us down so drove the Skyline Drive of Shenandoah National Park. This weaves for 105 miles along the crest of the Blue Ridge Mountains but we only did the top third. The views might have been fantastic if the rain hadn't swept in. We managed a quick hike during a break in the downpours only to bump into a baby bear! He was of the "Yogi" variety, snuffling around some picnic tables. Hannah spotted two more as we drove, so now we call her Goldilocks.

We finished the weekend with a wander around Winchester, VA, a gorgeous little town with a long history during the so-called revolutionary war and the civil war that followed. They seem very proud of their association with "Stonewall" Jackson, although I believe that he was on the wrong side. Anyway, the town boasts a beautiful centre, an office that George Washington once used, and a fantastic kids museum. We've been searching for one since bidding farewell to Science World in Vancouver, and Pete was very happy with an afternoon driving in an ambulance, crawling through an intestine, and painting with water.

So a very fun weekend! We passed a real estate office, and the prices out here make those around DC look ridiculous. Maybe it's finally time for me to become a horse farmer and settle out in Shenandoah. I may even take up the banjo. Of course, if they strike oil out here, a move like that would be a lot easier...

Security at the caverns.

Underground.

It's a tight squeeze down here.

Famous "bacon" formations, which have been in National Geographic! Does licking count as touching?

This bit is known as the "tea gardens" (may contain artificial colours).

Cathedral cavern...

...which boasts it's own "bishop". It's not exactly "witch of Wookey Hole" standard - the Mendip Hills' largest cave system and Somerset's #1 tourist attraction, where you can now buy cave-aged cheese - but what is?