Luckily for our pockets, Pete decided - adamantly - that he didn't want a birthday party. Instead he opted for a day out with friend Conor. But where to go? A quick Groupon search by Hannah yielded the answer: Funplex. You can't put a price on your child's happiness.
Funplex! I mean, fun's in the name, right? "Simply no other amusement park can compare to the 200,000 sq. foot establishment" boasts the website, before adding: "FunPlex was recently acquired by a new management team that has worked overtime to renovate the facility. By paying close attention to detail we can guarantee that on your next visit you will experience a NEW FunPlex." Our next visit? But what about this visit?
Well, arriving at 11am on a Sunday, I can tell you that (by paying close attention to detail) the cavernous place was deserted, the multitude of arcade machines blinking in syncopated solitude, the vast hulks of aging fairground rides silent and still. Everything's inside, which adds to the echoing eeriness. Not that Pete or Conor noticed, having disappeared among the arcade machines, happy to press buttons without even having to drop in quarters. He's his father's son.
There were also ball pools and cargo nets, whole rooms filled with foam blocks covered with bite marks, bumper cars, a rollerskating rink and a bowling alley. This place has everything! We managed to calm the boys long enough to eat pizza and hamburgers in an aggressively mediocre "sports bar" (i.e. it had TVs) before bribing them to leave using candy.
So, as far as five-yr-olds go, a resounding success. As far as I go? I'm beginning to worry I was born too old for fun.
Funplex! Shiny.
Why don't we focus on the arcade machines that don't include guns, eh?
Hannah, not too old for fun, joins the boys on the Ferris wheel.
Looks perfectly safe.
Cage them!
What flavour is the pink ones?
Surveying their domain.
The city of Las Vegas has something it'd like to talk to you about.
Onto the dodgems!
Or crashems, as it turned out.
Birthday fun.
Intense concentration on the motorbikes.
11pm! I was done a little while before that...
