Genius is such an overused word. Yet sometimes it is appropriate, perhaps even demanded. That day is today, after I followed a set of easy instructions in a YouTube video.
To be fair, before even departing on my journey to brilliance I had to drag Hannah's Granny's old mechanical sewing machine out of the garage and get it working. Employing a hammer, a lot of WD-40, and much swearing, the 1939 Singer was soon purring again. There's some debate in the family as to whether this is actually Granny's machine, as a second antique Singer exists, but I'm confident we have the genuine one; as I turned it I could hear Granny whispering "Do you really want to do it like
that? I'm sure I know a better way." Or that might have been Hannah - it's a family trait that spans generations.
Then it was onto my real mission, and my reason for now feeling gifted and talented: I sewed a face mask.
As you're aware, these masks are a source of much debate. Can they really help halt the 'Rona? Evidence suggests they stop you spreading but not catching it. When Christine heard we were worried about visiting Florida in March she sent us
some as a joke. Who's laughing now? But the main development is that our County Judge has deemed it mandatory, from Monday, for all of us to wear masks when out and about. I needed more than those supplied by the wonderful Christine, and I also wanted
to look like someone from a computer game that me and Gaz used to play on his Sega in the early 90s:
But where to find a suitable pattern? I cleverly decided to try the Internet. Would you believe it, there are lots of face mask patterns out there! I picked one that looked not too challenging and jumped in. I then
jumped out again to Google "how to use a sewing machine", but soon I was back, avoiding sticking a needle through my finger as I joined two pieces of flat cloth with wonky stitches.
The sun went down, the stars twinkled, and only a matter of hours later I was holding something that loosely resembled what the lady in the video had made. As dawn broke I presented my handmade couture. "Could I have one with Pikachu on
it?" asked Pete. Of course! Then I made another that he sent to his friend Elena. A cottage industry/sweatshop has begun.
But what next? Well, Houston is trying to sew a million of these things to hand out, so I'll be attempting to provide at least 0.000001% of those. Then I told Hannah I'll make her a tailored suit! "I won't hold my breath," she said. She's
right: you only have to do that if you wear one of my masks.
Old but completely dependable after a little lubrication, just like...
Come at me now, virus!
Only custom masks are good enough for my boy.
Elena, can you breathe in there? Elena?!
Kindra modeling one of my later attempts, when I discovered that using matching-coloured thread can be helpful.
This user survived, at least.
