Willing sibling

"...oh, and your sister's escaped again," my Mother dropped nonchalantly into the end of our call.

"What?" I spluttered into my Earl Grey.  "The doctors said that couldn't happen again!"

"Apparently she's more resourceful than they thought."

"Well...at least they confiscated her passport."

"Yes, about that..."

I let my weary head sink into my hands.

"Interpol tracked her to Heathrow," Mum went on, conversationally, "but they lost her in the Duty Free.  They think she might be heading to you."

I lifted my face back to the single, unforgiving eye of the webcam.

My Mother, sensing something of my mood, looked kindly and/or disinterestedly at her only, firstborn son.

"It's not that bad," she told me.  "If she arrives just pretend that everything's normal.  They said they should be able to get a containment team out to you in a couple of week."

"A couple of weeks?!"

"Take her to the Cheesecake Factory.  That always placates her.  Anyway, I have to get your Dad his tea now."

I hadn't even finished my sigh of resignation and panic before she signed off.

The doorbell rang.  I made my way downstairs, my sweaty hand slipping awkwardly on the doorknob.  Perhaps it was only the chill November air that made me shiver.

"Hey big brother!" smiled Emily.

I can imagine a lot.

Baltimore airport is actually pretty classy!

Getting ready for the holiday season in International Arrivals.

"One original, one chocolate hazelnut crunch, one caramel pecan...just give us one of each,"

Well that just happened

Wow!  After my home country rejected Europe it seems like my adopted one has rejected sanity.  Amongst all the talk of the broken system, a massively disenfranchised rural population, and the death of political forecasting, there seem to be two self-evident truths: only a mug bets on a two horse race, and if you have the worst candidates in history then one will become the worst winner.

Living in a country by choice but without voting rights - voting with our feet, I suppose - does raise some interesting questions, most pertinently: when is it time to get out?  If the mass deportations start?  If press freedoms get curtailed?  If the price of Twinkies goes up?

Of course, the real question is "what happens next?"  The new president looks like he'll be the least favoured in history from the popular vote.  None of the Republicans I've met bear even a passing resemblance to the rally-going-news-featured ones (because I've only been a coast-dweller?)  The political system here is founded on checks and balances, which allows the paralyzing inertia we've seen from DC this past decade but is also meant to stop extreme swings.  Most US elections, including this one, are very very close.

So as of now I can report that the sun has risen this morning in America, the trains are still not running on time, and England are doing remarkably well in the cricket in India.  Things seem normal (apart from the cricket). "We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office," noted one political commentator.  But his name was Aesop and he died in 564BC, so let's aim for gradual improvement.

One day...

Under not canvas

Camping!  There has to be a better way.  Thankfully the wonderful people at Pohick Bay Regional Park agree and offer "rustic cabins" for those of us that want the outdoor experience while remaining indoors.  It's very nice to wake up on a campsite in November and not have to scrape the ice off your eyeballs, but comfortable as these cabins are they lack wi-fi, flat screen TVs and coffee makers, so we were roughing it somewhat.

We met the Murnanes there and - fairly literally - released the children into the forest.  Pete and Charlie disappeared down a leaf-filled gulch, eventually finding other, older children that they co-opted into their rudimentary adult-free society.  Oscar tried to eat everything, and managed to sneak stones, acorns and many leaves into his mouth before getting them removed again by a fast-acting mother.  Izzie hung around the fire and convinced Hannah to make her hot chocolate with marshmallows.

We stayed there for two nights!  Yep, seriously hardcore.  On Sunday we packed up, recycled our wine bottles and drove over to Cox Farms where they were having their annual pumpkin smash before closing for the season.  And after that we saw the Muckers for some fun in their new tree house.

There's been a report published recently that says children should only be allowed an hour's screen time each day, which means that Pete and I have some serious catching up to do to correct the balance after a weekend spent entirely outdoors.



Sitting on the front porch swing.  It's like The Waltons around here.

Or Little House in the Big Woods (I always preferred the one on the prairie).

What's this?  Only Hannah's birthday present from me: a Chillbo Baggins.  What's a Chillbo Baggins?  Just buy one and relax.

Unless there are kids around.  Then you never get to relax.

Masterchef Jack whips up breakfast.

Oscar adopts his guru pose.

Look!  Even consultants do real work sometimes.

Off for an afternoon hike.

The actual bay of Pohick.



Throwing rocks.

Some dynamic climbing from Pete.

Girl on a swing!

Childcare at its best.

Family Christmas card pic sorted.

More climbing.

Cheeky chappy.

Passing on my many years of Boy Scout fire-lighting experience.  "First, syphon some petrol from a nearby car..."

Some more top childcare.

Nocturnal animals.

An actual nocturnal animal!

And some more.

Sunday morning breakfast.

We indulged in a little leaf-peeping as well, as the colours around here are stunning at the moment.

A yokel down on the pumpkin farm.

Pork sandwich.

Boom!

We normally stick to Massey Fergusons but McCormick is at least a British tractor, even if this one was made in Chicago.

Our car was stuffed full of our camping gear but the farm was selling any size of pumpkin for $5!  I don't even need a pumpkin, certainly not one of that size, but you'd be crazy to miss out on a deal like that!!  Hannah will learn to thank me.

"When can we have a go?" whined the children.  "I just have to check it's safe.  Again," says Vince.

Anno domina

Unlike the rest of us, Hannah doesn't actually physically age.  But we still like to celebrate the passing of years.

A fine and balanced birthday tea.

And another cake ($1.99 at Safeway, reduced for quick sale) because one is never enough.

Halloween 2016

I guess we're in holiday season with the arrival of All Hallow's Day, celebrating the bond between those of us on earth (the church militant) and the sainted angels, known and unknown, in heaven (the church triumphant).  Adults and children alike observe this deeply spiritual time by dressing up in ridiculous costumes and consuming as much candy as possible.

The first metaphysical act was the neighbourhood ghost lollipop hunt!  Unfairly open only to the under-10s, every house makes five ghost lollies that are then hidden around our park before a hoard of ravenous princesses, super heroes, etc. are let loose.  Pete - who doesn't even like lollies - was utterly enthralled by this idea, rugby-tackling fellow toddlers and continuing the search long after everyone else had got bored...and finding five more lollies for his effort.  "He gets that from me," even Hannah had to admit.

Then, on the actual Eve of All Hallow's Day, I sat on my front step with dinner on my lap, my son dressed as a dinosaur, and handed out candy to the various pilgrims who came around, most impressively one entire Star Wars family.  Pete's charitable manner meant he only wanted to give things away...until he realised the size of some of the candy hoards he was seeing, when he disappeared off to door-knock with Hannah.  I was left alone with only a candle and a severed pumpkin head for company, and it's amazing how many trick-or-treaters gave me a wide berth.  "Come closer, little children!  I have delicious candy!" I implored, to no avail.

Dino-Pete reappeared and we shut the door for bedtime, with enough sweets to keep him sugar- and colouring-fueled until the next holiday (Thanksgiving!)  Before then, I'll be using this helpful guide on what wine pairs best with your child's Halloween candy.

Scary monster.

Eyeing up the positions of the ghost lollipops and planning the most efficient route.

And they're off!  Competitive much, my dear?

This is the prize.  Spooky.

Like a swarm of lollipop-eating locusts.

All Hallow's Eve parade.  A preponderance of princesses, as ever.

You wouldn't prefer an organic healthy fruit snack?  No?  Well, it is a festival.

Great Falls

When it comes to advertising the USA is known for its subtle and humble approach, under-promising and over-delivering with a complete lack of hyperbole.  Which is why we couldn't wait to visit "The Niagara of the South!" - Great Falls National Park.

The park is a short drive from us, just across the Potomac River, and the queue that greeted us along the Virginia country road suggested some remarkable sights inside.  It took us around five-times longer to get to the entrance booth than it had on our recent visit to the Grand Canyon.  The Grand Canyon is a mile deep, which meant Great Falls was going to be five miles deep!  Wow.

The park was nice.  We wandered about for a bit, saw some rocks in a river, but somehow managed to totally miss the biggest waterfall in the whole world.  Oh well, next time.  We drove away in our Ford Fiesta ("Everything We Do Is Driven By You!") back to Maryland ("If you're looking for a merry land, go to Maryland!") and our Pulte-built home ("Committed to your comfort every step of the way!") where I cracked open a Budweiser ("The King of Beers!") and watched the Chicago Cubs ("Try Not To Suck!") play in the "World" Series.  As I often tell Pete: life's all about learning to live with disappointment.  I tell Hannah that too...

Off into the wilds.

I guess the massive waterfall must be behind us.



The rock climbing was pretty cool though.  If you're Pete's size.

Anyone seen a huge waterfall?  Anyone want to buy some snake oil?  OK, bye.

Last Exit to Brooklyn

After many months of nagging, cajoling and gentle threats, Daphny and Elad made the journey down the East Coast from New York City to visit!  The real excitement of this trip was the chance to see their little boy Ollie again, and we wasted no time in inviting over the Murnanes to find out what happens when five small children of Berkeley MBA parents are put together.  Madness, as you can imagine.

The more adult side of the weekend - after 9pm, or whenever a movie was on the laptop - was spent drinking cheap wine and uninformedly discussing politics, music, cinema, etc.  Very much reliving our youth.  I now refer to my early-30s as "youth".

Cuteness overload.



Attack on Daphny!

Food, a bit of peace and quite, and enough children for a kids' table!

Oscar was a bit bemused to be left on the adults' table.  So unfair.



Public pool.



Pete and Ollie communicated well in some kind of Hebrew/English mix.

And through the universal language of music.



We finished with a visit to Chuck E. Cheese.  Which Elad enjoyed hugely.