One of the persistent stereotypes the British have is that our former colony does not do political satire well. I've never held this view (have you read the Constitution? It's hilarious!) But while they do have
Stephen Colbert a lot of people think he's a real right-wing pundit, and there's no equivalent here to
Private Eye,
Chris Morris or, indeed,
Jonathan Swift.
Which is why I was very interested to learn about a particularly edgy bake sale that was taking place on Berkeley campus today (thanks to Vince and Christine, who saw it on CNN, while in Germany.)
The campus Republicans, a rare breed, are demonstrating against a Californian bill to encourage positive discrimination in the Cal college system. Not by marching or leafleting, but by selling cupcakes price-dependant on your ethnicity. If you're a white male you pay full price, $2. Hispanic males pay $1, and prices drop to a meager 25c if you're Native American. Women get 25c off everything (Amanda, who says she's 1/32nd Blackfoot, would make a killing).
Very predictably, a large number of people are up in arms. Which is entirely the point, as the campus Republicans are very happy to acknowledge in the almost
blanket media coverage they've been given since announcing it.
How could I resist a trip into Berkeley to see what happened? First, their advert stated "If you don't come, you're a racist!" Second, my ethnic minority nonimmigrant status should get me a sizeable discount.
I got to Sproul Plaza, and as usual the main challenge was finding which political demonstration was the one I wanted. Luckily the TV cameras showed the way, and I even got to stand next to some real news photographers. They had much nicer cameras than me.
As 10am approached the tension, and my hunger, increased. Then the cakes arrived, and all hell broke loose.
The main problem was that no one could actually get to the table to buy anything. The network cameras crowded in to catch every word of the sales people. Then the placards were handed out. Then the opposition arrived. Someone tried to buy every cupcake, but was refused. There was some shouting about freedom of speech. Not that many people seemed to get the joke.
Finally a small queue formed and pushed its way through the media mob, and so I joined. When I got to the front a pleasant girl (Republicans can be pleasant! Who knew?) asked what colour I'd like, so I went for a non-ethnically-biased purple. I asked if there was a discount for British people, and was told I could pay "whatever I self-identified with". Though my first reaction was to claim to be a female Native American, I honestly paid the white male price.
I was then followed from the scrum by a reporter for the SF Chronicle, who asked me hard questions like "do you know what the protest is about?" and "don't you think it's racist?" I delved into my memory of listening to politicians being interviewed on Radio 4, and replied "you may very well think that, but I couldn't possibly comment." Showed her!
In summary: this is Berkeley! The point was further reinforced when yet another group of students turned up dressed as wizards demanding diversity for Hogwarts and "socio-magical justice". All we needed was some nudity and every NorCal cliche would have been met.
And yes, the cupcake was delicious. It tasted like freedom.
Show me the baked goods!
The cupcakes arrive, and immediately begin melting under the media glare.
Banners are all well and good, but you can't eat them.
This is the opposition table. They didn't have cupcakes.
Not sure what her point is, but hey: freedom of speech.
How am I meant to get to the table through this lot?
Here's the Berkeley Republican student president. I recognise him from CNN, and no doubt a bright political (or baking) future awaits.
Yes! Finally!
At this point I'd lost track of who was demonstrating for and who was demonstrating against.
And then the wizards arrived, with their inflatable dragon.
Well, in the words of a lady at another famous political demonstration,
let them eat cake. And I did.
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UPDATE
---
I met fellow ethnic minority member Angus for lunch, and we decided to wander through Sproul Plaza to see if the madness had continued. It had, and had got even better!
A huge group of black-clad students was lying down, blocking access to everyone. Once again it was hard to tell what their point was, but I think they were pro-bill (and therefore anti-cupcake). It didn't seem to matter to the
Channel 7 news copter that was buzzing overhead. There hasn't been this much action since the tree sitters.
The main bake sale sign had been smeared with icing, either by someone taking issue with the demonstration or just unhappy with the taste. With fewer news cameras blockading the table Angus easily got to it and bought a cookie, although he had to confirm that he self-identified as male. It must be his accent.
We had to take the long route around the lying-down students, and passed several other groups (and the wizards again) who had cottoned on that giving away food tends to get you attention on a university campus. Still, man cannot live by baked goods alone, and so Angus and I moved on to discuss politics at a local noodle bar.
Not so great at satire, but pretty good at puns.
Politically active, or just lazy?
