The big chill

It's a deeply unfair stereotype that the British are obsessed with complaining about the weather. Which is why it's so great when EVERYONE complains about the weather!

Yes, here in Texas most conversations of the last week have been about the "cold front" that was expected, and then how big/long that cold front would be, and then how cold that cold front would be. Today we got our answer: ridiculously cold.

So cold, in fact, that they decided to cancel virtual school. This was another topic of conversation that got me extremely animated, although in the end turned out to be exactly the right decision as over a million Houstonians lost their power, including Pete's teacher. We found out that the state's main electricity generators (wind and gas) stop working when it gets cold, and also that none of the Texas electricity supply managers - Texas has a separate grid from the rest of the US, because of course we do - could foresee that people would want to heat their homes in low temperatures.

And not just low, but really low! Our record low is 5F (-15C) and although we shouldn't break that tonight it's going to be the coldest for at least 30 years. And then I realise "30 years" means 1991, and I feel old.

Not that any of this affected Pete, who had a wonderful day of wish fulfilment as he's been going on about snow for months. We were outside in the Arctic conditions straight after breakfast, sledding around deserted streets. The snow was powdery and white, the kind you'd love to slalom down if there was a hill within 500 miles of here, but Hannah did a good job of compacting it into a snowman in difficult circumstances.

The deep and crisp and even blanket began melting in the weak afternoon sun, but tonight is when the real drop happens, with even the BBC asking "Why is it so cold in Texas?" I'm not sure, but I find comfort in knowing we're going to be complaining about it for a long time to come.

I prefer the humidity when it doesn't drop from the sky as white flakes.

Pete, extremely sad that school was cancelled.

Winter wonderland.

The weather has cooled, but tempers haven't.

Making good use of a sled.

Then a better use of a sled.

We wrapped our lime tree because...that's what other people were doing. Extra-cold G&T's anyone?

A palm in our local park has to tough it out by itself.

The main road by our house was not so main today.

Heat was in the very sod.

More a snow cone than a snow man, but good work Hannah!

My turn to drag.

Then someone else's.

And finally Mum brings it home, in time for well-earned cappuccinos and a hot chocolate. We received more than a few queries about where we got our snow shovels and sledge. Washington, DC, we told them smugly.

Surviving 2020

So apparently there are some vaccines now and everything's going to go back to normal, which means all my stockpiling, zombie survival training, and casual prep for the Biblical end times might come to nothing! In order to salvage some dignity we decided to head out into the woods for New Year.

We found a state park just over the Louisiana border, so after a few hours' drive were ready to rough it for three nights in a nice cabin with central heating, a kitchen, and a TV. Shockingly, the wi-fi in the park was down! Yes, we had ventured to the edge of civilisation and beyond.

After the initial shock, we spent a few lovely days catching minnows in the nearby lake, hiking, and honing our survival skills by watching TV shows like "River Monsters" and "Mysteries Of The Abandoned". The weather was terrible which is probably why we were the only people there, but it did add nicely to the apocalyptic tableau.

Then, sadly, it was back to real life, with the imminent restart of school, work, and whatever stuff I do all day. Here's to a year that can't possibly be as challenging as the last one. Can it? Either way, I'll be more than ready...as long as there's wi-fi and a TV.

What? I'm too old for a tent.

Sending Pete to catch dinner.

Hannah is roughing it in a Title 9 top with Hunter boots, while Pete barely survives in a customised Ralph Lauren T-shirt and khaki slacks.

Louisiana sunset.

We were treated to a spectacular final full moon of 2020.

S'mores: important for nutrition.

Fishing resumed the next morning. Failure is not an option!

Success! But you should have seen the one that got away.

Ah, water-filled wellies. The childhood memories!

Pete decided to take things to the next level.

So did Hannah, but in the opposite direction.

Passing on knowledge from father to son.

Catch and release.

We had to make our own entertainment (during the commercial breaks).

Alright, time to go home.

Just because you can doesn't mean you should

If, like me, you grew up as a working class lad in Somerset, the highlight of a day spent in the fields and/or down the mine was coming home to a delicious cooked dinner. And what's the best part of dinner? Pudding! And what's the best pudding? Bread and butter pudding, obviously, but a close second is Angel Delight.

Angel Delight is a fascinating thing: a packet of powder that you whisk with milk and then leave to set. What manner of sorcery is this?! It is light and fluffy, unlike most British puddings that take 3-5 business days to digest because they're made from stale leftovers (see: bread and butter pudding, above). It is especially interesting in the USA as it conforms to the specific American definition of "pudding" - as opposed to the generic "dessert" - and is also unavailable, possibly because it's considered dangerous, like Kinder Surprise eggs, not safe, like guns.

So how does one acquire pudding contraband this side of the Atlantic? Well, you need an international supplier, which I have. In a stroke of genius, it's my mum! No one expects 70-yr-olds to be mixed up in this stuff. So when a box of Christmas goodies arrived last week, I opened it to find not one but all four currently available flavours! Which meant there was only one thing to do. Yes, create the fabled, perhaps even mythical, four-layer Angel Delight.

But what order to place them in? Banana is the strongest flavour and can tend to bleed into the others, especially chocolate. Butterscotch - the best flavour, don't argue - is strong enough to withstand banana's assault, but its beige colour next to the yellow does not make for the best aesthetic composition. Strawberry's pink layer is certainly the most striking, but sadly is the least sophisticated on the palate. Also we were only sent the sugar-free version! I'll have words with my dealer.

In the end, from bottom-to-top we went for banana-butterscotch-strawberry-chocolate. Much milk was sacrificed in this culinary feat, and Pete was allowed to lick the mixing bowl on three occasions; he's too young to appreciate butterscotch.

The result? With the addition of some squirty cream I'll let the pictures speak for the themselves, as I sit back to consume whipped nirvana and await the Michelin inspector with my first star...or the culinary police...or US Customs and Border Protection.

You should use only the freshest ingredients.

In-process.

The final creation! Can you hear the eponymous angels weeping at the beauty? I can.

Surprisingly, four packets of Angel Delight makes quite a bit of Angel Delight.

And the food critics? Happy.

Brined turkey

We British are the masters of social distancing. When Hannah was pregnant, her American boss commented "You're a very private person" because she didn't let visitors to the office rub her bump (ugh!) In keeping with this, Pete was born eight weeks early because he was uncomfortable spending more time in such close proximity to his mother.

So at Thanksgiving, that late-November holiday when Americans gather with their nearest and dearest, we naturally decided to go somewhere no one would be: the seaside.

Now, the Texas seaside in winter isn't exactly like its British counterpart. Here you can still get sunburned in moments, but when temperatures dip below three figures (Fahrenheit) the locals deem it hypothermic and stay away.

But leaving Houston behind did not mean leaving behind Thanksgiving! Hannah made sure we came loaded with all the turkey and trimmings needed for the full experience. Added to the requisite buckets and spades, picnic chairs, sun shades, etc. our overpacked car looked like...well, a typical family beach holiday. I finally have the excuse to shop for a truck in this year's Black Friday sales.

We had a wonderful week away, which consisted mostly of Hannah and Pete swimming in the sea while I sat grumbling with a tweed blanket over my knees. I hope after Covid we can keep wearing the physical masks, so I don't have to switch back to my metaphorical one.

There I was, digging this hole...

It was unsurprisingly quiet in the sea as well.

And not too cold so I was told. Treasuring my dignity, I did not remove my shoes or socks.

Hannah checks on her oil rigs out in the gulf.

Don't get used to it kiddo.

There was also a swimming pool...which no one else was using either.

I was starting to get post-apocalyptic vibes, which is a little early given there's still one month of 2020 to go.

Lots of space = lots of room for sandcastles!

Relaxing.

We took the stairs.

Turkey day finally arrived! Cheers!

Hannah wisely jointed the bird, and only brought what would last us for several days. The rest is in the freezer at home.

But our young American did his best to finish everything quickly.

Sunrise over the Gulf of Mexico.

And one final dip before home.

Term limits

Finally, a day long anticipated in America arrived. Yes, it was Hannah's birthday! She demurred on the offer of breakfast in bed from Pete, but was treated to many coffees and a full day of work in her home office for her beloved Chevron. So...pretty much the same as normal.

And that, dear reader, is why updates have been a little sparse lately. After the flurry of our New Mexico summer, things have settled into a well-worn routine. School remains video-based for Pete, and my chance of publishing the great American novel remains even more remote than Hannah's work.

Of course, this means the bright spots are even brighter! We've managed a socially-distanced bike ride with our neighbours, and the Cubs helped out with moving pumpkins around a church. We saw one of Pete's pre-school friends at a Halloween party at a local park! It was a bring-your-own-candy affair to prevent contamination, which did not impress the children present. We've even indulged in the British trend of cat-stealing!

In the midst of all this, the USA is trying to decide whether it wants an old white man or an old white man to lead it. The latest I've heard is that you can stop the process whenever you want and declare victory! I think this should be adopted by all American sports, it may actually make baseball watchable. At least the question of who's in charge around here isn't up for debate (hint: not the person typing).

Happy birthday Hannah! Yes, I made those cupcakes.

Galveston: always empty. The perfect Covid destination!

Pete doing his best.

Are we in the right place for the Halloween party?

Davies in the lead, the peloton trailing badly.

When I serve coffee, this is what I mean. I haven't been wasting my lockdown time!

A boy and his pumpkin.

Spooky!

Thanks to Aunty Katharine for the charming door hanging.

The highlight of every afternoon.

Why own a cat when you can "borrow"?

Did I hear there was an election?