Sinless city

Ever since a visit there with his Grandparents, Las Vegas has held a mythical place in Pete's mind. It's his answer when we ask "where would you like to go on holiday?" and any hotel we stay at he compares to The Bellagio. This is entirely healthy for a six-yr-old, so we enabled him further with a surprise end to our trip in Sin City.

The drive from Bakersfield is a fabulous one, skirting the Mojave and rising slowly into the high desert, past Joshua trees and cacti, along roads that make you wonder how places like New York City, San Francisco, and our own Houston can exist in the same country as all this arid emptiness (answer: you may have noticed from the political situation that it's tricky.)

And then you crest a ridge and look down at a desert plateau where someone thought it would be a great idea to build casinos. Maybe it was to keep the sin far away from right-minded people, but given the number of cars and planes heading the same way as us it didn't work.

Being right-minded people also, we weren't staying at a casino but had chosen a little family-friendly hotel called the Desert Rose Resort. Still, this is Vegas, so the place was full of overheard conversations from people claiming to be millionaire entrepreneurs or professional gamblers dating models.

On our first day we wandered up and down the Strip, home of the Luxor, Excalibur, etc, looking for free entertainment. If you count people dressed up as showgirls, and others accosting you to buy timeshares, we found it, but it's also fun to wander into each of the huge gaming floors to see if you can spot the differences from one casino to another. It's tough in the low lighting, brown carpets, and no windows.

After this urban hike we decided to treat Pete to his favourite thing in the world: unlimited food! A little research showed that The Palms - off the Strip - serves the best all-you-can-eat buffet. After twenty minutes queuing we were shown to our table and the feasting began. Pete only made six trips to the buffet, four of which were for dessert. Quite restrained really, and cheaper than feeding him at home.

But enough was enough! The next day we got out of Vegas for a proper hike. The best thing about being a city in a desert is that you're surrounded by it, and only 30 minutes from the roulette tables is Red Rock Canyon, a national conservation area full of canyons and red rocks, as well as wild donkeys and antelope ground squirrels and not too many rattlesnakes.

We picked a hike up Ice Box Canyon, which was rated as "difficult" (of course!) Slightly too difficult when trying to push a six-yr-old over 12-foot boulders, but the views were stunning and the air somewhat brighter and cleaner than on the gaming floors.

From there it was a short trip back to the airport, where we finally succumbed to the banks of fruit machines by each boarding gate and gave Hannah a dollar to drop in one. She lost all but 26c so she won't be covering our holiday expenses, but when she has a husband and son like me and Pete some might say she's already won the jackpot.

Outside of Barstow.

The tallest thermometer in the world in Baker, today reading a cool 106F (41C).

Ah, back in civilisation, if a fake ancient Egyptian one.

One day son I'll teach you my infallible roulette system.

 Back in the sunshine.

One of the "free" Vegas attractions: a nice fountain in the Aria.

Best buffet in Vegas? One of the cheapest, for sure.

Pizza, sushi, sticky rice; all the major food groups.

I was a little more creative.

Then finished off with only one plate of dessert! Abstemious, me.

There was a Damien Hurst hanging up in the bar. A metaphor for...something.

Taking me to the cleaners. Thankfully no money involved.

See? The best things in life are free! Although there is a $15 National Park entrance fee.

Off into the canyons.

If only someone would get rid of those unsightly casinos, it would all look as lovely as this.

Minimum gambling age at the airport?

She should be so lucky.

My parents took me to Vegas and all I got was...

Way out West

I remember thinking California was wonderful, but then I moved to Texas and realised it's full of loony-lefty Democrats who want to take everything great about America and replace it with vegan communism. Still, it has some nice coffee shops and various friends live here (move to Houston!) so I wasn't too unhappy to tag along with Hannah when she traveled.

She's here keeping the oil flowing, which means Pete and I are her valet and driver; perhaps we get some crumbs from the table, like staying in hotels with nice pools. We also have our days free to reminisce, which began with a walk around the paradise of Walnut Creek (now with even more ice cream shops) and catching up with our old apartment complex manager, Eileen. She says she'll kick someone out if we ever move back, which is always nice to hear.

After a weekend hanging out with Lauren, Nate, Evie and (their) Pete, we chauffeured Hannah over to Half Moon Bay, where a pipeline conference was happening in a VERY posh hotel, the kind where they give you complimentary slippers! While Hannah schmoozed, we wandered the Pacific Coast, had breakfast with the Schwimmers (my baby Logan is about to enter middle school!) and dinner with the Singers.

Yesterday we arrived at our final stop: the not-quite-west-coast Bakersfield, deep down in the agricultural central valley where we're enjoying shadeless sun and arctic air-con, not a hill in sight, and a healthy love of the fossil fuel industry. Perhaps California's not that different from Texas after all.

Flying luxurious Spirit Airlines. Hannah unsurprisingly went on a somewhat better, work-funded flight.

Grabbing a local coffee straight off the plane.

First pool.

Meeting up with Virginia again, now joined by fellow Chevron baby Evie.

Ah, Bay Area traffic! Worse than Houston? It's a tough call.

Another local favourite.

Back where it all began.

Down memory lane to Albany Beach.

San Fran!

Some sassy customers at Lottie's ice cream.

A hike through a redwood grove on the way to Half Moon Bay.

Paddling in the Pacific.

Patio with our own firepit! I told you this hotel was fancy.

Dinner with the Singers, where young Hannah passed her audition to be Pete's au pair next summer. Well done!

While I played Elise's piano. Her parents bought her a Steinway when she was a child. Mine didn't.

But where should we eat on the way to Bakersfield?

At the Buena Vista Museum in Bakersfield, where their digital sandbox projects mountains, rivers and volcanoes onto the sand as you pile it up! I need one of these.

Pete considers how much he could eat if he had teeth like these.

But he does OK with what he has.

Fathers' Day

For Fathers' Day, Hannah gave me another child! This time it's a 7-yr-old girl called Virginia, although we only get to keep her for four days while her mother Tracy is in town. Tracy works with Hannah, so the Chevron Moms bid us goodbye every morning (as they drank my homemade cappuccinos, of course) and Pete, Virginia and I toured Houston.

Turns out that a 7-yr-old's Houston highlights are very similar to everyone's, so we learned why oil is good - as if Chevron children need to - at the Museum of Natural Science, walked around a space shuttle at NASA, and ate Torchy's Tacos.

The only problem was not enough time! And that these children in my care could not be convinced to watch the Cricket World Cup for six hours every day. WHERE HAVE I FAILED AS A PARENT?! Oh well, it turns out we're all going back to California together, where Hannah has to attend meetings at HQ. So in direct recompense for my childcare, I get to leave Pete with Tracy and spend a week watching cricket while eating and drinking my way around San Francisco!

I've been told it doesn't work like that...

This doesn't look like trouble AT ALL.

Release the oil!

The moon.

 

And the first girl on it.

More space-faring.

Engineers.

Houston's best tacos....maybe.

How many too-large children can you fit in a shopping cart?

A new documentary about my life.

Time travel

After ten glorious days it was the moment to say goodbye to our Japan adventure. Given the nature of international date lines and planet Earth (apparently it's spherical!) this meant arriving in the USA six hours earlier than we departed Tokyo. We'll see what that does for the jetlag.

We spent the last day collecting together the amazing things we'd purchased: something that shapes boiled eggs into teddy bears; packs of vending machine snacks; various Pikachus. Then we went on a hike up a hill to stretch our legs, and finally caught the train from Yokosuka one last time.

Randomly, my cousin Richard emailed to say he was arriving in Tokyo for a work trip on the day we were leaving! This gave the perfect excuse for one more Blue Bottle coffee on our way to Haneda airport, a catch up on family gossip, and the hatchings of a plan to meet again when Wales beat the All Blacks in the Rugby World Cup final. Then it was a final meal of ramen and tempura before catching our flight.

A huge thank you to Amanda and family for putting up with us for so long, in the middle of moving themselves back to the US for Jack's next navy posting. And thank you to the navy for letting us on base, even with British passports! Everything about our trip was spectacular and we will be back as soon as possible, although our itinerary might miss out on a certain cafe next time...

A fine haul of captured Pokemon.

Taking a break on a walk up a hill.

You can't leave Japan without seeing Godzilla! The final tick on our cultural checklist.

Richard got the looks and the brains in the family. I got...another Blue Bottle coffee.

Last supper.