Thursday 20 December 2012

Replicant baby

I didn't have a doll growing up.  A shocking admission for a modern NorCal metrosexual man like myself, I know, but this was during the 70s when everything was beige rather than the rainbow sparkles of today.  I was more of a Lego child.  I did once use my sister's dolls as crash test dummies which, I'm told in the book I'm reading about raising boys, is completely normal.

Hannah had a doll, of course.  She and her sister each received one at the same time, and named them after themselves.  I'm still trying to judge exactly how unhealthy that is.  Anyway, dolly spent many years in storage, was transported to California with all our other stuff, and has been in storage here since.  I imagine the inside of a box looks the same in Durham as in Walnut Creek.

But recently: emancipation!  With the need to practice baby-based skills (all our foster kids could do stuff like swear and set fire to things on their own - it's unfair to expect the same from a newborn) dolly was removed from cardboard incarceration and put to work.

Given that it's a toy made from cloth and plastic, Hannah got surprisingly upset when I carried it around by one foot, or passed it like a rugby ball.  I was impressed by Hannah's level of concern for something that even roughly resembles a baby...until I took off dolly's babygrow and found a nappy that had been there since the 80s.  Thirty years without a nappy change!  There's a call to social services right there.  Also, regarding all that information about how disposable nappies do not decompose - it's true.

Dolly has been put to good use trying out a baby carrier I found in a thrift store, helping to size up cloth "diapers", and giving swaddling practice, although she is a bit feisty and doesn't like having her arms by her sides.  I can't fault her behaviour, though, and I was moved to put her clothes through the wash; they were probably last cleaned when the nappy was put on.

She's now sleeping snug and warm, rocked in my arms as I apply Happiest Baby techniques to try to stop her crying.  Seems to be working.  Who's a good little girl?  Who is?  That's right, you are!  That's right!


A top-of-the-range Baby Bjorn Active with lumbar support!  Only the best for my baby ($14 from local charity shop).


Sleeping soundly, due to my expert swaddling techniques.  This baby is going nowhere!



She didn't even wake up during a diaper change!  Parenting is easy.