Nanny state

The selection process is underway for the Davies au pair.  Applicants must be able to operate a baby with minimal parental intervention and know how to mix basic cocktails.  Salary will be a competitive minimum wage, which will almost cover the costs of board and lodging with us, and you will not be required to provide your own breast milk.  Generous holiday allowance as long as you take the baby if you go anywhere.  British accent (real or convincing fake) an advantage.

Candidate 1: exceptional.

Candidate 2: phenomenal.



Candidate 3: outstanding.

You're all hired!  Please split the wage between yourselves as you see fit.