Nowhere, that's where, which is why we were so lucky to find ourselves spending the night in Beaufort, South Carolina, where this factory/museum ships out over a million kazoos across the globe each year. That sort of success, my friends, is the American Dream in action.
Our tour guide Tara, who also runs the gift shop, and makes kazoos, started us off with an educational video about the kazoo's humble origins, in which every historical figure was played by a kazoo. No, I'm not making this up. The men responsible were Alabama Vest and Thaddeus von Clegg (I'm not making that up either) who took their invention to the Georgia State Fair in 1852 where everyone ignored them. But they persisted, and now people like us can visit a kazoo factory on a family vacation. Tara continued by demonstrating a massive range of different kazoos. The material they're made from really does make a huge difference to the sound, running the whole gamut from deeply annoying to utterly unlistenable.
Pete loved it - boys and noise, of course, but I did refrain from purchasing an item in the gift shop claiming to be the world's loudest kazoo. You get a free kazoo as part of the tour, to your own colour specifications, and so having walked in as a simple family of three we left as a kazoo trio! We also picked up a bag of kazoos for Pete to give to all his school friends, because I don't like his teacher.
If music be the food of love, we're going hungry.
What's the plural of kazoo?
A copy of the original kazoo patent, and one of them! It was originally known as the Down South Submarine on account of its shape.
Does a day go by when you don't read about a kazoo in the news?
More proof that Ringo was the best Beatle.
How fancy do you like your kazoo?
Err...
When the kazoo first went electric at the Newport Folk Festival in July 1965 the performance was accompanied by booing and shouts of "Judas!"
What could be so funny?
Ah yes, the history of the kazoo, as acted by kazoos. And, if you notice, these kazoos are playing smaller kazoos. It's all too much.
In the factory, where the magic happens.
The ingredients to a great kazoo.
And now the tricky bit of choosing our kazoo colours.
This machine applies the pressure to push the resonator housing into place. I'm not sure you need that much pressure, but anyway.
Tuning up.
The traveling Davieses!
Ah, the beautiful South Carolina night, spoiled only by the neverending sound of *$!)&*@* kazoos!!
