Senior childcare position: immediate vacancy

Argh!  They've gone!!  Mum and Dad got into a taxi this afternoon and are somewhere above the northern Atlantic now, and they didn't even have the decency to take their grandson with them.  The Hollands disappeared back to the sunshine on Monday, and to add insult to injury Hannah's travelling for the rest of the week so it's just me and the baby!  Thank goodness there are so many leftovers from Easter; lamb sandwiches followed by cake and chocolate again tonight, Pete.

It was wonderful seeing children, parents and grandparents, but the local ducks might starve to death now the number of bread-throwers has been drastically reduced.  The local gin distillery may go out of business too, but I'll work hard to keep that from happening.

As a result of the exodus an immediate position of nanny/child entertainer has opened up in our apartment.  An ability to cope with a grown man crying for his mummy and daddy would be a distinct advantage.

It was Dad's 81st birthday while he was with us.  Let's hope I look that good when I get there (still a while off because I'm only 27).

Mum takes the reins, again.

Comfort eating now they've left.  That Malteser bunny never stood a chance.

Paschal

Easter came to Vancouver, and with it eggs, bunnies, chicks and lambs.  Some of these were hunted for, some of them were judged cute, most of them were eaten in abundance by the various members of the Davies-Holland clan sat around our dining table.

It was, as always, a day of tradition, with a visit to church (complete with new bishop) followed by gin and tonics, stuffing our faces with food and cake, and then the obligatory afternoon walk.  It was raining, of course, which didn't go down well with California-girl Frankie (jumping in puddles is apparently fun until you get cold).

Logrolling: a classic Canadian pastime!  This was before Easter, I think - it all blends into one when you drink as many G&Ts as we did.

Grandparents...

...useful.

Dads are ok too.

We caught a boat to Granville Island market, and again sub-contracted childcare.

The chaos of the meal out.

Suddenly, everyone was in a better mood.

Corrupting influence.

Catching the boat home.  We had it to ourselves.

We'd run out of G for our T, so took Phil to the local distillery for some sampling.  We're banned now.

Sunday, outside church.  What?  We're not doing anything naughty!

Frankie gets a big slice of the cake she decorated.

After-lunch walk.  Even the ducks had abandoned us due to the rain.

---

Oh yes, before all that the Hollands had a day trip to Butchart Gardens down on Vancouver Island.  The Butcharts were a rich quarrying family, and after one of their quarries was exhausted they turned it into a sunken garden, and then kept adding bits.  It's now huge and rather spectacular, and James took lots of photos but I've indexed them for easy perusal:

Flowers.

Cute child.

Flowers.

Cute children.

Flowers.

Cute child.

Overseas rendezvous

"We're in Vancouver for Easter!" said my parents.  "We're in Los Angeles for Easter!" said my parents' close friends from home.  Then, with a Somerset disregard for international geography: "Let's meet up!"

Luckily my parents' friends are none other than the parents of our friends James and Gen, and so a busload of Hollands arrived on our doorstep!  Literally a busload - they got the biggest rental car available.  Unfortunately, to welcome our Californian neighbours, Vancouver put on its best display of weather; the kind of downpour that would leave the folks of Orange County concluding that the end times have arrived.

Brits still outnumbered Yanks which meant we reacted to the torrential storm by picking up umbrellas and going out into it, specifically to the aquarium where none of the fish minded the extra water.  Young Frankie took inspiration from them and, on the way home, jumped in every available puddle.

It's wonderful to have them here, and with so many grandparents around we've even managed to organise a child-free restaurant trip, like when we were young.  The only problem with their visit?  They've only been here 24 hours and we've already run out of gin.

A tri-et.  They're a talented bunch.

Yep, exactly like meeting up in Frome.

Frankie the penguin.

Nice weather for ducks and/or penguins.

Dereliction of duty

Why have a dog and bark yourself?  If I'd planned this better I could be off at a hot spring while grandparents and grandchild entertained each other.  They'd get confused why no one was constantly bringing them food and drink, but apart from that...

Anyway, my parents brought fantastic weather with them so there's been plenty of wandering around in the nearby parks.  I even left Mum and Dad in charge of the baby at his weekly music and dancing session!  Everyone enjoyed an afternoon nap following that.

Unfortunately, but predictably, the rain came down today, but we didn't let that stop us heading out to Vancouver's maritime museum.  Pete followed his ex-Royal Navy grandpa around several wooden ships - now he wants to be a pirate when he grows up.  So far everything's going very nicely, but we haven't hit the chocolate-and-sugar-fueled Easter weekend yet.  That's when I actually might leave.

At the Chinatown gate.



Mum keeps Pete on a short leash, like she did with me.

Where's Wally?  (Multiple answers accepted).

The highlight of Dad's holiday so far: a trip to one of the world's biggest ice rinks.



Up the Sea to Sky Highway.  Not too shabby.

Not too shabby either.

Two of Pete's favourite things: Grandma, and float planes.

Three generations.

Pain au chocolat for breakfast?  My grandparents must be visiting.

Back to the usual Vancouver weather today.



Dad takes the wheel at the maritime museum.



Who's at the porthole?

Hannah decides to take advantage of the grandparents too.

Just like his mum, he takes ownership of the oil.

And in last place...

I used to be #1 in my parents' affections.  Then my sister was born, then they got a cat, then they met Hannah, and finally and most damagingly along came their grandson.  My fall from grace is complete.  I now rank higher in the affections of my dentist than of my mother and father (I love you Elliot!)

It works the other way around as well, of course, and with my parents' arrival I've dropped off my son's radar too.  Like an indentured servant I get a cursory nod when I deliver food or cleaning services and I'm then expected to withdraw in a respectful manner.  I've had it!  I'm out of here!  As soon as I've finished all the British tea and chocolate, and that litre of Baileys, that Grandma and Grandpa brought with them...

A duet of Peters.

"And then the nice old lady completely forgot about her son and fell in love with the little baby and they all lived happily ever after.  The end."

Objection! Overruled.

The USA has a reputation for being a somewhat litigious culture - from the kidnapper who sued his victims and the kids who sued their parents to the lady who started it all by suing McDonalds because her coffee was hot.  From Perry Mason to LA Law, the US enjoys a little courtroom drama.

So imagine my surprise when I found myself in the middle of a class action lawsuit!  I don't even know what a class action lawsuit is, but it seems that health provider Anthem Blue Cross did something to some policyholders at some point and, because some people were suing them, so was I.  I didn't really take much notice of the letter when it arrived, losing myself in dreams of being called to the witness stand, the prosecutor asking the judge for permission to treat me as a hostile witness, me shouting "you can't handle the truth!" to a rapt jury, etc.

Anyway, none of that came to pass, but it seems that the lawsuit went ahead in my absence and today I received my damages, which I hope were punitive as all the best damages are:

Yes, an eye-watering settlement of $1.51 (they wrote 'dollars' plural to make it seem more).  The lady who scalded herself on coffee got $2.7 million!  But the way I look at it, that's $1.51 that I wouldn't otherwise have.  They paid first-class postage to send it to me...and then international postage to have it forwarded to Canada...but it does mean that next time I'm in the States I can buy myself a drip coffee, making sure not to spill it on myself.  After renting a car and paying for petrol to get down there.

Perhaps part of the settlement is a gagging order, in which case I suppose I shouldn't be talking about it.  I'll keep the cheque in case they want it back.  As Perry Mason would say: move to strike!

Amazing

Christ Church Cathedral here in Vancouver is advertising its "prayer labyrinth" this week.  This is a tradition from around the 12th century where you wander a winding path, contemplating in devotional solitary silence.  Anyone who has spent time with a 1-yr-old knows what it's like to walk in circles, feeling confused and praying, so this seemed like the perfect place to take Pete!  On a glorious sunny day we met up with Hannah on her lunch hour and went inside.

It's fabulous!  All the pews have been cleared and there's a huge canvas laid out upon the floor.  There are, however, a couple of problems.  The labyrinth is way too easy - I completed it the first time.  Also, it doesn't have any walls!  My plan to encourage Pete inside and then have a long, quiet moment of contemplation (and lunch) went awry when he refused to stay inside the lines.  "No," I told him, my voice echoing authoritatively around the silent space.  "You have to go back to the beginning now!"  Other maze-walkers shot me glances of approval and respect.

Always turn right.

High-speed prayer.

Pete proves that maybe there are shortcuts in the devotional life.

Oh, and the blossoms in the city are spectacular at the moment (that's blue sky behind!)