Monday 25 February 2013

NorCal parenting instruction

Being a parent in Californian comes with certain responsibilities.  I've been told that chicken nuggets and hotdogs account for most choking cases in the rest of the country, whereas here it's baby carrots and organic apple sticks.  I've never verified that because it needs to be true.

Most pediatricians agree that you shouldn't feed carrots to premies but there are other ways to assert Californianess.  One is "cloth diapering" (a diaper, Google Translate tells me, is the American word for a nappy).  Disposable nappies are obviously evil for various reasons: their environmental impact, their cost, and their implied Republicanism.  Using cloth ones is a lot better, provided you wash them with biodegradable liquid and dry them in the sun.  (Yes Mum, I know everyone used cloth back then, but this is different).

We'd got in our nappies while still expecting a standard-size baby, but checking today they claim to work from 5lbs upwards so we went for it!  The benefits were immediate: the extra bulk means that Peter resembles a tiny Teletubby.  They also do alright at containing explosions, and hopefully that will improve as the fit does.  We need to work on his thighs.

The second Cal thing was to break out the child sling.  Pushing around a stroller is far too impersonal, taking the child outside the range of your aura (unless you have a really big aura, like me).  Our favoured carrier - the Baby Bjorn - doesn't take anything under 8lbs but my sister sent us an amazing one made in Britain but found in Uganda.

The Kari Me allows for multiple baby positions, based on the sort of faux-ethnic earth-knowledge that we just eat up around here.  It's suitable for that crazy babywearing thing, where you never put them down, and has the advantage of making the carer look like a shaolin monk with mad martial art skills.  I was too scared to wear it out of the house (in case I was approached to free a local village from evil samurai or something) but did wander around inside with Pete crushed to me in the 'cuddly' hold.  Judging by his silence he was in awe!

So there you are - a successful day of acculturating our baby to the foreign practices of his birthplace.  When he starts answering to "Peeder" and successfully ordering a glass of "warder" in a restaurant our work here will be done.


Hmmm, perhaps a nappy isn't meant to reach to his ankles.


Is this a ninja dedicated to fighting for truth and justice?


No!  It's a man carrying a baby, but your mistake is understandable.


It also has a convenient space for my battery pack.